Generally, I don't like quick fix advice, but there is a magical phrase that will erase conflict if you are genuine when you use it.
I read it recently...a simple piece of advice that said, 'When you've upset someone, don't justify yourself or argue.
Simply say, 'I'm so sorry I upset you. Would you forgive me?'
I had occasion to use it, too. I upset my sister and it really was my fault.
Normally with my sister I'm a little stubborn. I like to explain myself if I've made a mistake, or tell her she's overreacting.
But this time I didn't. I just said, 'I'm so sorry I upset you ...and I love you so much. Will you forgive me?'
After a little while she wanted to hear my explanation. I didn't have to force it on her, and she understood.
The next time you upset someone, try this approach. It's honest, and at the very least, the person you're dealing with will appreciate your vulnerability.
Of course, your tone of voice and attitude when you say this is priceless.
You need to convey a genuine humility...and attitude that you 'get' how interdependent we all are on each other...and that you're not stuck on appearing right, or looking good, or winning an argument.
Being stubborn when you're wrong or have hurt someone accidentally is easy.
But no matter how strong we THINK our stubbornness makes us appear, what it conveys low self-esteem.
A genuine, heartfelt apology takes tremendous self-acceptance. It also keeps your relationships harmonious, which makes you happy.
My question to you is, Would you rather be stubborn or happy?
Try this simple phrase the next time you make a mistake in your relationships.
You will get a positive reaction that will instantly boost your self-esteem.
All of your relationships will improve.
You'll start getting the love, appreciation, and admiration you've always wanted.
Having profoundly happy relationships really is as easy as knowing the principles of success in them.
It will raise your confidence in relationships immeasurably.
People will start responding to you differently.
You'll start getting the love, appreciation, and respect you deserve.
Success in relationships really is as easy as knowing which strategy to use with your friends and family depending on what's going on.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Teachers' Strike
With the wage strike still ongoing and more than half the teaching staff exercising their right to protest at the Western Cape Sport School, I thought I might begin with a question or two today, just to get those here thinking about things. Let’s begin by asking whether the learners really do require the attention of teachers, and confinement in school, in order to learn. In other words, are teachers really necessary?
Even more radically, some news paper writers have suggested that young people may be their own best teachers. For example, they say research on the process of acquiring a language indicates that we learn, not by being taught by others, but from everyday experience – by listening to others, trying out patterns of words, and eventually discarding ones that don’t seem to work.
Teachers are ordinary but unique people who become teachers for different reasons, have different teaching objectives, and work in different circumstances, against a background of unequal educational provision.
I believe the impulse to teach is fundamentally humane and represents a desire to share what you value and to empower others. I began teaching when I was twenty-five and my students were thirteen years old. Now I’m forty-something and those youngsters are in their thirties. There’s not as much difference between forty-something and thirty, as between twenty five and twelve. I believe your students ‘catch up’ with you and quite often end up knowing more than you do. It’s wonderful to witness that continuous growth at the same time as you’re taking on another group of learners. You can see and feel your students grow, and that finally is the
reason to teach and the reward of teaching.
To all the staff at Western Cape Sport School, whether you were here or not whether you felt the need to strike or not... Your time and effort placed in educating the learners is appreciated by me and the community we serve.
Even more radically, some news paper writers have suggested that young people may be their own best teachers. For example, they say research on the process of acquiring a language indicates that we learn, not by being taught by others, but from everyday experience – by listening to others, trying out patterns of words, and eventually discarding ones that don’t seem to work.
Teachers are ordinary but unique people who become teachers for different reasons, have different teaching objectives, and work in different circumstances, against a background of unequal educational provision.
I believe the impulse to teach is fundamentally humane and represents a desire to share what you value and to empower others. I began teaching when I was twenty-five and my students were thirteen years old. Now I’m forty-something and those youngsters are in their thirties. There’s not as much difference between forty-something and thirty, as between twenty five and twelve. I believe your students ‘catch up’ with you and quite often end up knowing more than you do. It’s wonderful to witness that continuous growth at the same time as you’re taking on another group of learners. You can see and feel your students grow, and that finally is the
reason to teach and the reward of teaching.
To all the staff at Western Cape Sport School, whether you were here or not whether you felt the need to strike or not... Your time and effort placed in educating the learners is appreciated by me and the community we serve.
Putting in the hours!
I went to a press conference yesterday with the coach, captain and chairman of Ajax Cape Town football club. They were asked what it would take to get more local players into the big European leagues. Straight away they said that all of their players were keen to make the step up, but that this was going to require far more hard work to be put in to get up to the required level. They felt that perhaps the work ethic was not quite there to match their ‘desire’. This got me thinking about how often we hear people in sport, as well as in business talking about how hard work eventually pays off. Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone who works hard will be successful, but very few people who don’t work hard ARE successful. Interview after interview, and biography after biography talk about how hard people have worked for their success, yet it seems that not everyone takes that advice and does the same themselves.
My view on hard work is that it gives you two vital attributes. Firstly, it gives you the increased skill, fitness, strength levels that are required in your specific field. Muscle memory improves and bodies become more susceptible to the demands of the game. Secondly, and I believe even more importantly, through increased practice, comes increased confidence. I have spoken before about how confidence stems from past positive results, as well as from preparation (which if perceived well results in feeling of readiness). There is the view that attitude determines how you prepare, and how you prepare then determines how confident you are, which then determines how well you play. Through this increased hard work that is put in, self-perception and inner dialogue becomes better and more positive. This internal dialogue reinforcing how much work you have put in and how much it will help you will begin to result in confidence. This dialogue will often only take place once you have put in those hard yards! I don’t even need to say how much confidence plays a role in performance, as everyone knows that feeling relaxed, free of fear and ready for the task at hand will improve performance.
I look at people like Morne Steyn and Jonny Wilkinson in rugby, they have been known to be the first at practice and the last to leave. Vijay Singh, a top golfer has still managed to stay at the top of his game for a long period of time due to his propensity for hours on the practice range. Tiger Woods too has been known to spend hours in the gym to get an extra edge. Even Ronaldo and Beckham, people whom you may perceive as being super-talented have been known to be some of the hardest workers on their games. They have honed their skills as best possible, but have also built up a resilience and confidence in their own games due to the knowledge that the hours put in will pay off for them when it counts. In rugby, I always say it is important to be the fittest side, but what is more important is that you know that you are the fittest side so when the game gets tight, you have a confidence in your fitness as a result of the hard work you have put in, which could result in the excellent results you desire.
Hard work therefore cannot be shirked as it is plain to see how important it is in both the skills and attributes gained physically, but also in its immense value mentally. The confidence from hard work will also only transpire if the individual is comfortable with the work they have put in and backs that up with positive dialogue. What must exist for this though- is self-motivation to put the work in. But that’s another story for another day!!
My view on hard work is that it gives you two vital attributes. Firstly, it gives you the increased skill, fitness, strength levels that are required in your specific field. Muscle memory improves and bodies become more susceptible to the demands of the game. Secondly, and I believe even more importantly, through increased practice, comes increased confidence. I have spoken before about how confidence stems from past positive results, as well as from preparation (which if perceived well results in feeling of readiness). There is the view that attitude determines how you prepare, and how you prepare then determines how confident you are, which then determines how well you play. Through this increased hard work that is put in, self-perception and inner dialogue becomes better and more positive. This internal dialogue reinforcing how much work you have put in and how much it will help you will begin to result in confidence. This dialogue will often only take place once you have put in those hard yards! I don’t even need to say how much confidence plays a role in performance, as everyone knows that feeling relaxed, free of fear and ready for the task at hand will improve performance.
I look at people like Morne Steyn and Jonny Wilkinson in rugby, they have been known to be the first at practice and the last to leave. Vijay Singh, a top golfer has still managed to stay at the top of his game for a long period of time due to his propensity for hours on the practice range. Tiger Woods too has been known to spend hours in the gym to get an extra edge. Even Ronaldo and Beckham, people whom you may perceive as being super-talented have been known to be some of the hardest workers on their games. They have honed their skills as best possible, but have also built up a resilience and confidence in their own games due to the knowledge that the hours put in will pay off for them when it counts. In rugby, I always say it is important to be the fittest side, but what is more important is that you know that you are the fittest side so when the game gets tight, you have a confidence in your fitness as a result of the hard work you have put in, which could result in the excellent results you desire.
Hard work therefore cannot be shirked as it is plain to see how important it is in both the skills and attributes gained physically, but also in its immense value mentally. The confidence from hard work will also only transpire if the individual is comfortable with the work they have put in and backs that up with positive dialogue. What must exist for this though- is self-motivation to put the work in. But that’s another story for another day!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Creating your best self as an athlete.
It is easier than you think.
When you invoke the creative powers of visualization, you are using your imagination to make-over yourself, literally.
With the seed of your imagination, you can transform any element of your performance - your skills,your Game Face, even your confidence.
As the saying goes, "Little hinges swing big doors." Of course, creating your best self does not mean manufacturing something fake.
It means finding your authentic athletic self and allowing it to be expressed.
A classic example is how you handle your biggest competitors.
A lot of aspiring athletes think they need to trash talk and get into the heads of their competitors to win.
But this rarely brings out their best self. Instead I like the technique used by U.S.
Olympic figure skating champion Scott Hamilton (recently seen on TV show The Apprentice).
In figure skating it's common for skaters to get aggressive during practices.
They'll get into their competitors' way on the ice or even jump right next to them.
Scott didn't do those things. He knew they wouldn't bring out his best, most authentic self.
Instead he used a subtler approach. He never wanted any competitor to see him miss a
jump. If he was warming up or doing a run-through, it had to be perfect.
This put terrible pressure on his opponents, making them think they HAD to skate perfectly
all the time or lose to Scott.
At the same time, it forced Scott to BRING IT whenever he was in a competing environment.
You've probably already guessed that visualization is the best way to find your genuine athletic self. In Scott's case, he found the flawlees self he wanted to project and made it his mission to do it.
By harnessing the power of visualization, you can do the same. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, or what level you're competing at.
When you invoke the creative powers of visualization, you are using your imagination to make-over yourself, literally.
With the seed of your imagination, you can transform any element of your performance - your skills,your Game Face, even your confidence.
As the saying goes, "Little hinges swing big doors." Of course, creating your best self does not mean manufacturing something fake.
It means finding your authentic athletic self and allowing it to be expressed.
A classic example is how you handle your biggest competitors.
A lot of aspiring athletes think they need to trash talk and get into the heads of their competitors to win.
But this rarely brings out their best self. Instead I like the technique used by U.S.
Olympic figure skating champion Scott Hamilton (recently seen on TV show The Apprentice).
In figure skating it's common for skaters to get aggressive during practices.
They'll get into their competitors' way on the ice or even jump right next to them.
Scott didn't do those things. He knew they wouldn't bring out his best, most authentic self.
Instead he used a subtler approach. He never wanted any competitor to see him miss a
jump. If he was warming up or doing a run-through, it had to be perfect.
This put terrible pressure on his opponents, making them think they HAD to skate perfectly
all the time or lose to Scott.
At the same time, it forced Scott to BRING IT whenever he was in a competing environment.
You've probably already guessed that visualization is the best way to find your genuine athletic self. In Scott's case, he found the flawlees self he wanted to project and made it his mission to do it.
By harnessing the power of visualization, you can do the same. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, or what level you're competing at.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Carpe Diem Classics
Motivational Music Mix
The Bottom Line When life gets the better of you, you cannot give up. I suggest you do what I do -- listen to kickass music.
Have you ever been punched in the face with life's clenched fist? Have you ever doubted yourself? Have you ever had others view you as inconsequential?
Of course you have. After all, you are a member of the human race. You wouldn't ever be able to attain genuine happiness unless you have overcome obstacles or tragedies of some sort. Some people say "that which doesn't kill you only makes you wish that it had." I say "poppycock."
If you persevere in the face of adversity, then you become stronger, pure and simple. It has been my experience that adversity looms around every corner. Hell, sometimes it chases you like a shadow.
What do you do when this happens? You keep going. What if you find it harder and harder to do so? You still keep going. What if you have trouble finding motivation? Then, you listen to these songs (or perhaps others that tickle your particular fancy) and you find inspiration.
Track One: I'm Winning by Santana
You cannot win in life until you have lost first. Everybody loses at some point. The trick is to use defeats or failures to your advantage. Learn from them. This song embodies a spirit that victory is always within grasp, and I find it nearly impossible not to be emotionally stirred by it.
Sample Lyrics
I had a dream but it turned to dust,
What I thought was love that must have been lust,
I was living in style when the walls fell in,
When I played my hand I looked like a joker,
Turn around, Fate must have woke her
'Cause Lady Luck she was waiting outside the door.
I'm winning, I'm winning,
I'm winning and I don't intend on losing again.
Track Two: All-Star by Smashmouth
This undeniably catchy song has been featured in many films as a sort of anthem for losers (i.e. Mystery Men, Shrek) and that's no accident. The song has a positive confidence-affirming aspect to it that suggests that everybody is an all-star of some sort.
Sample Lyrics
So much to do, so much to see,
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go,
You'll never shine if you don't glow.
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play,
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid.
And all that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold.
Track Three: End of the Line by Traveling Wilburys
What do you get when you combine Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Jeff Lynne, George Harrison and Tom Petty? A great rock band capable of pop-flavored gems that make you feel good. I love this song because it lets you know things are all right, even when it seems that they are not.
Sample Lyrics
Well, it's all right, even if they say you're wrong,
Well, it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong.
Well, it's all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay,
Well, it's all right, every day is just one day.
Track Four: Touch of Grey by The Grateful Dead
Along the same lines as track three, this song harbors the theme that even the good things in life are accompanied by bad things...but that's OK because "I will get by. I will survive." This is a great message that should be recalled from time to time, which is easy to do considering that this song is an unforgettable head-bopping, toe-tapping groove.
Sample Lyrics
I see you got your fist out,
Say your peace and get out.
I guess I get the gist of it, but it's all right.
Sorry that you feel that way,
The only thing there is to say
Is every silver lining's got a touch of grey.
I will get by. I will get by. I will get by.
I will survive.
Track Five: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by The Beatles
This is probably the ultimate feel-good song in rock-n-roll, and I know several people who dislike The Beatles, yet somehow love this song. Why? Because it is impossible not to smile when you sing along. Yes, it is easy to believe life goes on as you hum the chorus over and over.
Sample Lyrics
Ob-la-di ob-la-da, life goes on,
Bra-la-la, how the life goes on.
Ob-la-di ob-la-da, life goes on,
Bra-la-la, how the life goes on.
Track Six: I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty
Maybe it's just me, but I find it cool that somebody like Tom Petty, who doesn't have a good singing voice, can inspire so many with his songs. The funny thing is, Tom Petty isn't a deep lyricist. He projects simple messages with simple words...and it works perfectly. This spirit of this song is very inspiring, and sometimes, that is all you need, even when you feel like the whole world is against you.
Sample Lyrics
Well, I won't back down,
No I won't back down,
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down.
Gonna stand my ground,
Won't be turned around,
And I'll keep this world from dragging me down.
Track Seven: We Are The Champions by Queen
This is an obvious choice, certainly, but I cannot imagine making an inspirational mix tape without this inclusion. This is the quintessential fight-back-against-all-odds song that has inspired sports teams all over the country. This song has always made me feel as though I could achieve anything I set my mind to.
Sample Lyrics
I've paid my dues time after time,
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime,
And bad mistakes -- I've made a few,
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through.
We are the champions, my friend,
And we'll keep on fighting to the end.
Track Eight: Jump by Van Halen
I suppose if you are feeling like a failure, then the last thing you should listen to is somebody screaming "jump." However, this song is as anti-suicidal as they come. Like the tracks from Tom Petty and Queen, this song inhabits the "never give up, never surrender" attitude that we all have needed at one time or another.
Sample Lyrics
I get up
And nothing gets me down,
You got it tough,
I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel,
You've got to roll with the punches
To get to what's real.
Track Nine: Fly By Night by Rush
Ah, there is nothing like a little power rock from Rush to brighten up your mood. There are so many great Rush songs that have motivated me over the years, but I think this song works the best because of one line: "My life begins today." I like the idea that life is always beginning for each of us because we are constantly changing. When things are at their worst, then you need only to remember that time heals all wounds. Sure, it also wounds all heals, but it will also heal those formerly-healed wounds once again.
Sample Lyrics
Start a new chapter, I find what I'm after
Is changing every day.
The change of a season's enough of a reason
To want to get away.
Quiet and pensive, my thoughts apprehensive,
The hours drift away.
Leaving my homeland, playing a lone hand
My life begins today.
Track Ten: Last Chance by Shooting Star
I saved my favorite song for last. Of course, it is also the most obscure tune in the list. Shooting Star rocked airwaves in the 1980s with this electrically-charged song, full of rip-roaring guitar, piano and drum solos, and also ripe with a great philosophy: You need to seize the day before it is too late. After all, today may be your last chance to live. The best line in the song underlines the notion that we cannot afford to feel sorry for ourselves: "The enemy is in your heart, self-respect robbed by self-pity." Amen.
Sample Lyrics
Stand up on your feet
'Cause your life is as short as Hell.
You could be dead tomorrow...
Today may be your last chance to believe in yourself,
Your last chance to yell,
Your last chance to be good to yourself,
Your last chance to drink from life's well.
Secret Track: Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
OK. Since this is my mix tape, I am throwing in a secret eleventh track. If you need to find the will to survive and keep going, then who better to listen to than a group that called itself "Survivor"? I was very young and impressionable when this theme song for Rocky III hit theaters, and this song burned itself into my memory. I still get chills when I hear it, believing that I, too, can defeat Clubber Lang (a.k.a. Mr. T.).
Sample Lyrics
Rising up back on the street,
Did my time, took my chances.
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet,
Just a man and his will to survive.
So many times it happens too fast,
You trade your passion for glory.
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past,
You must fight just to keep them alive.
End Thoughts
Now, I realize that good music doesn't solve problems, but it can help you get in the right frame of mind that is necessary to face them. We all get frustrated and end up off course at some point. When that happens, we have music (specifically, some of the songs that I listed here) to remind us that everybody struggles.
Certain songs remind us that we are never alone and that is sometimes enough to give us strength to keep going until the next day...which keeps us going to the next day...and the next...and the next.
The Bottom Line When life gets the better of you, you cannot give up. I suggest you do what I do -- listen to kickass music.
Have you ever been punched in the face with life's clenched fist? Have you ever doubted yourself? Have you ever had others view you as inconsequential?
Of course you have. After all, you are a member of the human race. You wouldn't ever be able to attain genuine happiness unless you have overcome obstacles or tragedies of some sort. Some people say "that which doesn't kill you only makes you wish that it had." I say "poppycock."
If you persevere in the face of adversity, then you become stronger, pure and simple. It has been my experience that adversity looms around every corner. Hell, sometimes it chases you like a shadow.
What do you do when this happens? You keep going. What if you find it harder and harder to do so? You still keep going. What if you have trouble finding motivation? Then, you listen to these songs (or perhaps others that tickle your particular fancy) and you find inspiration.
Track One: I'm Winning by Santana
You cannot win in life until you have lost first. Everybody loses at some point. The trick is to use defeats or failures to your advantage. Learn from them. This song embodies a spirit that victory is always within grasp, and I find it nearly impossible not to be emotionally stirred by it.
Sample Lyrics
I had a dream but it turned to dust,
What I thought was love that must have been lust,
I was living in style when the walls fell in,
When I played my hand I looked like a joker,
Turn around, Fate must have woke her
'Cause Lady Luck she was waiting outside the door.
I'm winning, I'm winning,
I'm winning and I don't intend on losing again.
Track Two: All-Star by Smashmouth
This undeniably catchy song has been featured in many films as a sort of anthem for losers (i.e. Mystery Men, Shrek) and that's no accident. The song has a positive confidence-affirming aspect to it that suggests that everybody is an all-star of some sort.
Sample Lyrics
So much to do, so much to see,
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go,
You'll never shine if you don't glow.
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play,
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid.
And all that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold.
Track Three: End of the Line by Traveling Wilburys
What do you get when you combine Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Jeff Lynne, George Harrison and Tom Petty? A great rock band capable of pop-flavored gems that make you feel good. I love this song because it lets you know things are all right, even when it seems that they are not.
Sample Lyrics
Well, it's all right, even if they say you're wrong,
Well, it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong.
Well, it's all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay,
Well, it's all right, every day is just one day.
Track Four: Touch of Grey by The Grateful Dead
Along the same lines as track three, this song harbors the theme that even the good things in life are accompanied by bad things...but that's OK because "I will get by. I will survive." This is a great message that should be recalled from time to time, which is easy to do considering that this song is an unforgettable head-bopping, toe-tapping groove.
Sample Lyrics
I see you got your fist out,
Say your peace and get out.
I guess I get the gist of it, but it's all right.
Sorry that you feel that way,
The only thing there is to say
Is every silver lining's got a touch of grey.
I will get by. I will get by. I will get by.
I will survive.
Track Five: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by The Beatles
This is probably the ultimate feel-good song in rock-n-roll, and I know several people who dislike The Beatles, yet somehow love this song. Why? Because it is impossible not to smile when you sing along. Yes, it is easy to believe life goes on as you hum the chorus over and over.
Sample Lyrics
Ob-la-di ob-la-da, life goes on,
Bra-la-la, how the life goes on.
Ob-la-di ob-la-da, life goes on,
Bra-la-la, how the life goes on.
Track Six: I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty
Maybe it's just me, but I find it cool that somebody like Tom Petty, who doesn't have a good singing voice, can inspire so many with his songs. The funny thing is, Tom Petty isn't a deep lyricist. He projects simple messages with simple words...and it works perfectly. This spirit of this song is very inspiring, and sometimes, that is all you need, even when you feel like the whole world is against you.
Sample Lyrics
Well, I won't back down,
No I won't back down,
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down.
Gonna stand my ground,
Won't be turned around,
And I'll keep this world from dragging me down.
Track Seven: We Are The Champions by Queen
This is an obvious choice, certainly, but I cannot imagine making an inspirational mix tape without this inclusion. This is the quintessential fight-back-against-all-odds song that has inspired sports teams all over the country. This song has always made me feel as though I could achieve anything I set my mind to.
Sample Lyrics
I've paid my dues time after time,
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime,
And bad mistakes -- I've made a few,
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through.
We are the champions, my friend,
And we'll keep on fighting to the end.
Track Eight: Jump by Van Halen
I suppose if you are feeling like a failure, then the last thing you should listen to is somebody screaming "jump." However, this song is as anti-suicidal as they come. Like the tracks from Tom Petty and Queen, this song inhabits the "never give up, never surrender" attitude that we all have needed at one time or another.
Sample Lyrics
I get up
And nothing gets me down,
You got it tough,
I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel,
You've got to roll with the punches
To get to what's real.
Track Nine: Fly By Night by Rush
Ah, there is nothing like a little power rock from Rush to brighten up your mood. There are so many great Rush songs that have motivated me over the years, but I think this song works the best because of one line: "My life begins today." I like the idea that life is always beginning for each of us because we are constantly changing. When things are at their worst, then you need only to remember that time heals all wounds. Sure, it also wounds all heals, but it will also heal those formerly-healed wounds once again.
Sample Lyrics
Start a new chapter, I find what I'm after
Is changing every day.
The change of a season's enough of a reason
To want to get away.
Quiet and pensive, my thoughts apprehensive,
The hours drift away.
Leaving my homeland, playing a lone hand
My life begins today.
Track Ten: Last Chance by Shooting Star
I saved my favorite song for last. Of course, it is also the most obscure tune in the list. Shooting Star rocked airwaves in the 1980s with this electrically-charged song, full of rip-roaring guitar, piano and drum solos, and also ripe with a great philosophy: You need to seize the day before it is too late. After all, today may be your last chance to live. The best line in the song underlines the notion that we cannot afford to feel sorry for ourselves: "The enemy is in your heart, self-respect robbed by self-pity." Amen.
Sample Lyrics
Stand up on your feet
'Cause your life is as short as Hell.
You could be dead tomorrow...
Today may be your last chance to believe in yourself,
Your last chance to yell,
Your last chance to be good to yourself,
Your last chance to drink from life's well.
Secret Track: Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
OK. Since this is my mix tape, I am throwing in a secret eleventh track. If you need to find the will to survive and keep going, then who better to listen to than a group that called itself "Survivor"? I was very young and impressionable when this theme song for Rocky III hit theaters, and this song burned itself into my memory. I still get chills when I hear it, believing that I, too, can defeat Clubber Lang (a.k.a. Mr. T.).
Sample Lyrics
Rising up back on the street,
Did my time, took my chances.
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet,
Just a man and his will to survive.
So many times it happens too fast,
You trade your passion for glory.
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past,
You must fight just to keep them alive.
End Thoughts
Now, I realize that good music doesn't solve problems, but it can help you get in the right frame of mind that is necessary to face them. We all get frustrated and end up off course at some point. When that happens, we have music (specifically, some of the songs that I listed here) to remind us that everybody struggles.
Certain songs remind us that we are never alone and that is sometimes enough to give us strength to keep going until the next day...which keeps us going to the next day...and the next...and the next.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Many athletes fail because they are big babies
Before you accuse me of being harsh, let me explain.
Most athletes have a program in their minds about what's supposed to happen
in a competition -- and when things don't go their way, they get very
upset.
They are so busy feeling sorry for themselves, they lose their concentration.
I learned this from a surprising source: a very rich professional gambler.
I'm talking about the kind of guy who needs mental toughness because he lives in Clairemont and routinely bets R60,000 a hand in blackjack.
The Gambler says:
"I am often surprised at how easily people get upset. They get upset if they don't hit the jackpot.
When they hit a secondary jackpot, they get upset that they didn't hit the top jackpot. And when they hit the top jackpot, unless it's something in the millions, they get upset about why they didn't hit it sooner."
According to The Gambler, successful gamblers make their money by out-waiting the casino. If they lose a spin in roulette, they double their bet.
If they lose a second time, they increase their bet. If they lose a third time, they bet even more.
They know that statistically, it's impossible to lose every spin. Eventually, their numbers are going to hit.
So they wait...and beat the odds.
Gamblers who posses this level of patience are the best of the best.*
Patience Leads To Concentration Champions are a lot like great gamblers.
They use the mental toughness weapon of PATIENCE. They use it to create
superior concentration, even when the competition is falling apart around them.
They don't expect to win every point or smoke their opponent by a mile. They don't pity themselves when they make a mistake...they don't worry about not getting to a shot....and they don't constantly obsess over fluctuations in their game.
Most athletes have a program in their minds about what's supposed to happen
in a competition -- and when things don't go their way, they get very
upset.
They are so busy feeling sorry for themselves, they lose their concentration.
I learned this from a surprising source: a very rich professional gambler.
I'm talking about the kind of guy who needs mental toughness because he lives in Clairemont and routinely bets R60,000 a hand in blackjack.
The Gambler says:
"I am often surprised at how easily people get upset. They get upset if they don't hit the jackpot.
When they hit a secondary jackpot, they get upset that they didn't hit the top jackpot. And when they hit the top jackpot, unless it's something in the millions, they get upset about why they didn't hit it sooner."
According to The Gambler, successful gamblers make their money by out-waiting the casino. If they lose a spin in roulette, they double their bet.
If they lose a second time, they increase their bet. If they lose a third time, they bet even more.
They know that statistically, it's impossible to lose every spin. Eventually, their numbers are going to hit.
So they wait...and beat the odds.
Gamblers who posses this level of patience are the best of the best.*
Patience Leads To Concentration Champions are a lot like great gamblers.
They use the mental toughness weapon of PATIENCE. They use it to create
superior concentration, even when the competition is falling apart around them.
They don't expect to win every point or smoke their opponent by a mile. They don't pity themselves when they make a mistake...they don't worry about not getting to a shot....and they don't constantly obsess over fluctuations in their game.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Planning to win
Plan to win, but think differently
Someone once said, “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” Now as we sit in the off-season and put our feet up and watch the delights of what the summer has to offer, there is no doubt that we are casting our minds to next year, and to how we are going to have that elusive success with our sides. Having observed the advent of true professionalism it’s clear that many people think that the more you practice, the more likely you are to succeed.
True this may be, but practice time alone will not guarantee success. Success will be as a result of the whole process you put in place for your team/school/club’s success. Having recently read Jim Collin’s Good to Great, after having heard Paul Treu cite this book as his inspiration for the turnaround in the 7s side’s fortunes, I thought I would put down what I learnt from this in terms of how to run your team or your club/school system.
The first key concept here is getting the right people on the bus, and in the right positions. Which is more important is debateable, but my suggestion is that if you’ve got the right people involved in your team, management staff or all-round structure, getting them in the right positions becomes easier. This means analyzing where weaknesses lie, and getting the best people involved to counteract those. It also means being stringent in who you select and being clear in exactly what you are looking for in people. It also means, getting the best people involved that can work together. It’s no use putting, Jake White, Peter De Villiers and Nick Mallet in the same coaching team, and then getting the bulls pack with the sharks backline and saying that this team will be invincible. The combinations must be correct in terms of how they work together and dove-tail off each other.
The second key concept and one that takes some time to work out for you as a team or organization, is the Hedgehog concept. This is the overall concept by which you run your structure. The difficulty comes in finding out exactly what the best hedgehog concept is for you, and then having the discipline to stick to it, bearing in mind the people you have got on ‘your bus’. I won’t go into the details of why it’s called the hedgehog concept, but it has to do with the fact that hedgehogs use one particular method of survival in defending themselves against foxes(curling up into a little ball), that works 100 % of the time, and that they stick rigidly to this method whilst foxes try lots of different methods of eating them, all unsuccessfully . But this is a long story! Essentially, you need to find out three things ad ensure a balance between them to begin to see true success.
1. Identify what you are passionate about- This looks at taking your team and finding out exactly what it is that you are all passionate about. Your team may love to physically bully people, they pride themselves on it, and they are passionate about it. If this is so, then this must be used to your advantage. Once you have found what you are ALL passionate about, then write that down and find ways to use it. Working on areas that you are not passionate about is a drain on all resources and is more than likely going to produce sub-standard results, as the motivation and energy levels will be low.
2. Identify what you can be ‘the best in the world at’.
This essentially means what can you be the best at in comparison to all your opposition. Often a coach or director of rugby has a passion for a certain area, or has key knowledge of an area that leads to emphasis being placed on this area. This doesn’t always have to be a problem, but is that area necessarily the one that you can be the best in the world at? Is this the area that you truly can outdo the rest in according to the facts? Even if this requires a major shift in culture, style, or personnel, there is no use persevering with an emphasis on something you cannot excel at. No one wants to be second best, so find yourself an area, however small, that you can be the best at, and revolve your approach around that, and figure out ways to translate that into wins. It could be anything from skillfulness, to physicality, to having the best practice facilities. The skill comes in identifying this area and then working with it to produce the desired results.
3. Identify your measure of success
Yes, I know we all want wins, and generally that is how we measure success. But sometimes a 100 % win record is unrealistic, so my question to you is, what are you measuring? Are you measuring something that you can achieve that will eventually lead to an enhanced win ratio, or are you just measuring wins? If you as a school, measured yourself purely on set-piece success, because that is what you were really passionate about, and thought you could be the absolute best at, would this not lead to victories in the end? The debate can go on, but the essence is, find out what the best measure of success is, and work towards excellence in that area.
The balance needs to be found between these concepts and you cannot place emphasis on one and ignore the others and then expect success. In my endeavour to be succinct, I have aimed not to over-elaborate on the concepts but I urge you to give this book a read, as I believe there is a lot to be learnt from this in the world of sport. I would also be very happy to discuss my thoughts further should you wish to e-mail me.
All the best with the planning, and start today to get your hedgehog concept in place, by asking around and using all your resources to find out EXACTLY what it is that you are passionate about, what you can best at, and how you plan to measure success.
Someone once said, “If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.” Now as we sit in the off-season and put our feet up and watch the delights of what the summer has to offer, there is no doubt that we are casting our minds to next year, and to how we are going to have that elusive success with our sides. Having observed the advent of true professionalism it’s clear that many people think that the more you practice, the more likely you are to succeed.
True this may be, but practice time alone will not guarantee success. Success will be as a result of the whole process you put in place for your team/school/club’s success. Having recently read Jim Collin’s Good to Great, after having heard Paul Treu cite this book as his inspiration for the turnaround in the 7s side’s fortunes, I thought I would put down what I learnt from this in terms of how to run your team or your club/school system.
The first key concept here is getting the right people on the bus, and in the right positions. Which is more important is debateable, but my suggestion is that if you’ve got the right people involved in your team, management staff or all-round structure, getting them in the right positions becomes easier. This means analyzing where weaknesses lie, and getting the best people involved to counteract those. It also means being stringent in who you select and being clear in exactly what you are looking for in people. It also means, getting the best people involved that can work together. It’s no use putting, Jake White, Peter De Villiers and Nick Mallet in the same coaching team, and then getting the bulls pack with the sharks backline and saying that this team will be invincible. The combinations must be correct in terms of how they work together and dove-tail off each other.
The second key concept and one that takes some time to work out for you as a team or organization, is the Hedgehog concept. This is the overall concept by which you run your structure. The difficulty comes in finding out exactly what the best hedgehog concept is for you, and then having the discipline to stick to it, bearing in mind the people you have got on ‘your bus’. I won’t go into the details of why it’s called the hedgehog concept, but it has to do with the fact that hedgehogs use one particular method of survival in defending themselves against foxes(curling up into a little ball), that works 100 % of the time, and that they stick rigidly to this method whilst foxes try lots of different methods of eating them, all unsuccessfully . But this is a long story! Essentially, you need to find out three things ad ensure a balance between them to begin to see true success.
1. Identify what you are passionate about- This looks at taking your team and finding out exactly what it is that you are all passionate about. Your team may love to physically bully people, they pride themselves on it, and they are passionate about it. If this is so, then this must be used to your advantage. Once you have found what you are ALL passionate about, then write that down and find ways to use it. Working on areas that you are not passionate about is a drain on all resources and is more than likely going to produce sub-standard results, as the motivation and energy levels will be low.
2. Identify what you can be ‘the best in the world at’.
This essentially means what can you be the best at in comparison to all your opposition. Often a coach or director of rugby has a passion for a certain area, or has key knowledge of an area that leads to emphasis being placed on this area. This doesn’t always have to be a problem, but is that area necessarily the one that you can be the best in the world at? Is this the area that you truly can outdo the rest in according to the facts? Even if this requires a major shift in culture, style, or personnel, there is no use persevering with an emphasis on something you cannot excel at. No one wants to be second best, so find yourself an area, however small, that you can be the best at, and revolve your approach around that, and figure out ways to translate that into wins. It could be anything from skillfulness, to physicality, to having the best practice facilities. The skill comes in identifying this area and then working with it to produce the desired results.
3. Identify your measure of success
Yes, I know we all want wins, and generally that is how we measure success. But sometimes a 100 % win record is unrealistic, so my question to you is, what are you measuring? Are you measuring something that you can achieve that will eventually lead to an enhanced win ratio, or are you just measuring wins? If you as a school, measured yourself purely on set-piece success, because that is what you were really passionate about, and thought you could be the absolute best at, would this not lead to victories in the end? The debate can go on, but the essence is, find out what the best measure of success is, and work towards excellence in that area.
The balance needs to be found between these concepts and you cannot place emphasis on one and ignore the others and then expect success. In my endeavour to be succinct, I have aimed not to over-elaborate on the concepts but I urge you to give this book a read, as I believe there is a lot to be learnt from this in the world of sport. I would also be very happy to discuss my thoughts further should you wish to e-mail me.
All the best with the planning, and start today to get your hedgehog concept in place, by asking around and using all your resources to find out EXACTLY what it is that you are passionate about, what you can best at, and how you plan to measure success.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
