Generally, I don't like quick fix advice, but there is a magical phrase that will erase conflict if you are genuine when you use it.
I read it recently...a simple piece of advice that said, 'When you've upset someone, don't justify yourself or argue.
Simply say, 'I'm so sorry I upset you. Would you forgive me?'
I had occasion to use it, too. I upset my sister and it really was my fault.
Normally with my sister I'm a little stubborn. I like to explain myself if I've made a mistake, or tell her she's overreacting.
But this time I didn't. I just said, 'I'm so sorry I upset you ...and I love you so much. Will you forgive me?'
After a little while she wanted to hear my explanation. I didn't have to force it on her, and she understood.
The next time you upset someone, try this approach. It's honest, and at the very least, the person you're dealing with will appreciate your vulnerability.
Of course, your tone of voice and attitude when you say this is priceless.
You need to convey a genuine humility...and attitude that you 'get' how interdependent we all are on each other...and that you're not stuck on appearing right, or looking good, or winning an argument.
Being stubborn when you're wrong or have hurt someone accidentally is easy.
But no matter how strong we THINK our stubbornness makes us appear, what it conveys low self-esteem.
A genuine, heartfelt apology takes tremendous self-acceptance. It also keeps your relationships harmonious, which makes you happy.
My question to you is, Would you rather be stubborn or happy?
Try this simple phrase the next time you make a mistake in your relationships.
You will get a positive reaction that will instantly boost your self-esteem.
All of your relationships will improve.
You'll start getting the love, appreciation, and admiration you've always wanted.
Having profoundly happy relationships really is as easy as knowing the principles of success in them.
It will raise your confidence in relationships immeasurably.
People will start responding to you differently.
You'll start getting the love, appreciation, and respect you deserve.
Success in relationships really is as easy as knowing which strategy to use with your friends and family depending on what's going on.
It's not about me!
- seafri
- Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa
- Headmaster, Coach, Mentor and teacher. ”Sean L Friedenthal is a parent and a student counsellor for the past 25 years and has worked with kids from ages 7 to 18. He works as a teacher , sports coach and teen mentor. Experience: In his capacity as a teacher, Sean has counselled teens with some of the most difficult problems; from sexual abuse, to teen pregnancy, to drug addictions. He has also helped kids through the "normal" growing pains that come with being a teenager. Youngsters of all ages are invited to write and ask questions, discussion points or ‘just talk the talk’. From Sean Friedenthal: Being a teenager can be a confusing and trying time. It is also a time of great excitement, discovery, freedom and change. While you go through this important phase in your life, I hope you will be able to find comfort in words of wisdom that spur you into action, taking responsibility for your life.
No comments:
Post a Comment