Friday, August 29, 2008

"I'm having a bad day."

I hear that all the time from people. And when they say it, you see the grief, their face is all red, their hair is hanging in their eyes -or maybe it just seems that way... distraught looks on their faces.

I mean, how someone’s entire day can be bad. And an even better question is, how can someone have a bad week,, a bad month or a bad year.

The fact that they aren't thinking about what they are doing... just going through the motions, wasting tons of time, being less productive, making unnecessary mistakes. The inability to be in the moment, the habit of having your mind wander to negative thoughts; the weather, what to wear, bills, kids,your wife is demanding, the in-laws are coming over, all these destroy productivity.

You need to block problems and disturbances out while concentrating on what you are doing. You'll then stop making stupid mistakes.You'll get more done faster and better. You'll have an hour or two more time every day to eitherget more done or to relax or to exercise.

You'll have less stress and anxiety.

In short, you'll stop having "bad days" because you won'tbe bogged down by those things everyone else can't get their minds off......because you can.

By concentration! So become aware of what you are doing, make those careless mistakes become a thing of the past, then you'll be able to multi-task, move multiple tasks to completion and at the same time be ten times better at them.

And you won't feel the stress. Chill out man!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I hate change

I hate change! Why do things always have to change?

Just a few weeks ago it was warm outside and now it is cold. Every time things change I seem to get uncomfortable and have to learn all new things to do. During this weekend there was all this heavy, cold, wet stuff falling all over the ground. I was just getting used to the sun, and now this, rain again!

Well, you know I had to talk to my classes about it. We finally agreed that change is inevitable and it is important to learn to adapt to it. They also told me to quit whining about it and get on with my life (they didn’t say it exactly like that, but I knew what they meant). We also said that change can be good and for us and should try to take advantage of it.

I tried to take this advice so I went out and played soccer in the rain. At first it was fun, but then my feet got really cold and wet, and you know I am pretty short and low to the ground so my belly got cold too! Well, if I am going to adapt to this change stuff I am ready for the rain and cold to change and for it to get warm again!

Bye!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Self Reflection

Simply put, I now need to walk my own talk...
Once a coach/team has it’s season integrated plan cemented, encompassing all training, biomotor & individual commitments. The next challenge for the coach is to design and implement a program for fostering & promoting a positive & powerful team ethos. This is achieved through ‘Team Building’.

Plummer & Rougeau (1997), state that there are five essential components required for developing successful teams:
1. Cooperation: A common vision must be identified, and ensure that this and what can be gained as a group is put above individual gains.

2. Commitment: A commitment to the common vision and underlying values is required to be undertaken by each team member.

3. Contribution: Each individual must be willing to provide their expertise, and must be able to both take a leadership role and back seat as required by the situation.

4. Communication: The cornerstone of effective team building and successful teams is communication and subsequently working together to overcome obstacles and adversity. If team members don’t communicate off the field, then they won’t communicate on the field, if they don’t communicate on the field – they won’t be successful!

5. Trust: ‘Belief that people will do as they say is the foundation for all personal interaction’[1]. Players must ensure that their focus is 100% on their own contribution, trusting that other individuals will do the same. When this occurs, mutual group support and confidence is fostered, and a pure team effort results.

[1] Plummer, O.K, Rougeau, D, ‘Team Building Magic for All’, Strategies July/August 1997, p22

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Ever had the feeling?

Have you ever had a feeling that you could not identify until a movie you were watching happens to show your exact feelings?

The movie Jessie Stone with Tom Selleck happened to jolt me back to reality, as I dove deeper and deeper into a depressed mood. Jessie has to put down his dog that he's had for 10years. The emotion of having to put him to sleep bares heavy on his heart. Until he says " He's home". The rain in Cape Town often seems to have a calming effect over people, The need to be with friends is at it's greatest at the height of the storm.

Give your friends a call!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Lack of Motivation?

A common question many athletes/students want to know is why they
lose their motivation so fast... they'll set a really juicy
goal that, if they achieved it, it would make a giant
difference in many parts of their life, often a minor setback has a disastrous effect.
Once a goal has been achieved, usually within a day, or a week, a month or a few months, it's over, the drive and energy.

The dream shattered... again.
And people want to know why...
...Why can't they end a bad habit a down streak and start a good one
even when it would mean so much to them if they did.

The real answer is that there are potentially hundreds of
reasons for each person, but here are a few that stand out:

1-- Other people
Since other people often don't care about your
goals or dreams, people you know will often invite you to
go places and do things that are in direct opposition to
your goal.

And if it's attractive enough, you do it... especially if
they push and beg and plead and shame you and give you
every reason why you should do the thing you promised
yourself you would not do.
"What's the matter, don't like my braaiing?" Or, "We never
see each other. Just stay and have a beer a while longer."
And so you can't let them down. You fold. And it's
over... and then you beat yourself up about your failing to
make sure you know how lame you are, making you that much
less likely to ever even set that goal again in your life.
You must be able to cultivate a bit of selfishness in order
to stay on track. When your own wishes become as important
as others, you can finally start achieving some major
success in life.

2-- Distractions
Email, TV, the couch, the bed, the party, the project you
forgot about... distractions of all types.
There are thousands of attractive temptations that can
take your mind off your goals. But think about this...
there are a lot of people who can say no to them in order
to stay on track. So if it is possible for them, it's
possible for you.

3-- Fanatasy goals
If you are not clear on what you want, when you want it,
how you want it and how you will get it, it's not a real
goal, just a fantasy. You need to be able to see it, feel
it and taste it. Again, go back in your mind and think...
whenever you got what you wanted in your life, you had a
clear picture in your mind what it and you would look and
feel like after you got your goal.

4-- Reluctance to ask
If brains and hard work were the only ingredients to high
level success in most areas of life, there would be a lot
more getting done in the world. But the average person
goes it alone. And when they see that they can't do it on
their own, game over. Quitting time. But the most
successful people in every part of life are at the top
because they can get other people interested in helping
them.

5-- No faith
When you don't believe you can achieve some objective, why
would you bother setting a goal and attempting to achieve
it? Answer: You wouldn't. Confidence in yourself, in
others and in the situation are critical.

Another factor is seeing problems as huge in your mind.
This kills motivation like few other things. In fact, this
is one of the core mental failure patterns. A key skill is
to be able to mentally shrink the size of problems and
represent them in your mind as nothing bigger than a speck.
Do this and you'll be able to reach speeds that you never
dreamed possible.

Guilt is a swift motivation killer. When you can't let go
of feeling guilty over your success when others, "just as
worthy as you" don't have what you do, self-destruction is the
only answer. You must be able to see yourself as worthy
and be able to let go of guilt over what you've earned.
Comfort is a negative to motivation. If you are too much a
creature of habit, anything outside the normal routine is
going to be rejected.
Falling in love with change is the ,desireonly way to stop this motivation stopper.
As mentioned above, inability to keep your mind on why you
are doing a thing is probably the number one killer of
motivation.

Because desire, the basic emotion of "WANT" is the first
and most important mental habit you could have in your
pursuit of any goal and of a better life.

Desire stands above all else.
Because when you want something bad enough, it almost
doesn't matter what you lack. When your desire is strong
enough, in the face of all adversity, you'll find a way.

And remember, if you want something badly enough, you will
probably get it, just not in the form you thought of.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Negative Emotions?

Why do you wear the type of clothes you do, style your hair the way you do?

Simple: It's because you always did. And chances are you'll be feeling the same way, and having the same routine 10 or 20 years from now.

Routine is basically a good thing. It keeps us on track...
and sane.

But almost everyone has ingrained feelings and knee-jerk reactions to people and situations that don't always work well for them.

They want to change them.

They want to do things differently.

But their thoughts, attitudes and beliefs that were formed way back when make you who you are.

That's why change - true, positive, permanent change - can feel nearly impossible.

Change the way you think and feel about doing the things you need to do.

This is helping you clear out the undesirable patterns. It re-grooves the tracks of your mind so you won't harshly reject the things you need to do with the people, places and things related to the way you want things to be.

When you replace your lifetime failure patterns with new, moment-by-moment success patterns, your genuine skills, personality, intelligence, and motivation will emerge automatically.

Many people have said it's like flipping on a light switch in their minds. And their emotions suddenly change. Their attitudes suddenly change... right along with their decisions and habitual ways of doing things.

Once your clear and release your habitual negative limitations, you immediately open yourself up to new positive, empowering thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The down side of electronic failure...Formula for life?

Good to be back! The debugging of electronics seems to follow those who don't know all there is to know about computers..

Are you taking life too seriously? Having a bad day? Do you question every word and analyse every sentence spoken by others? Is everyone letting you down - not keeping their promises? Is the political bickering driving you mad?

This is a time when people are simply working and don’t have a lot of social events or public holidays to look forward to. People are struggling to cope with the cold weather, high inflation rates, and high prices for boring necessities. It’s a time when people are starting to feel the stresses and strains of work.

The formula W+(D-d) x TQ / M x NA by scientist Cliff Arnell helps calculate the year’s emotional low point. The formula combines personal and seasonal factors; (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failure to quit a bad habit, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.
He suggests that we make changes to our lives, mid year, whilst surrounding ourselves with friends and parties to avoid stress.

Hold on!
I constantly remind my students that life is way too short to take everything so seriously. Yes, there are lots of things in the world for concern and there are always things in your personal life that cause stress – exams, poor health, the high price of fuel, the next trip to the dentist, children needing attention, ill pets, the economy - the list is endless. But, if that's all your day consists of, it is unbalanced, stress filled and lacking in fun.

Stress scale?
On a scale of one to ten with one being low stress, calm and enjoying life - and ten being totally drained, out of control and stressed-out - what is your number? If you are in the one to three numbers, you are doing great. If you are in the four to seven numbers, you are well on your way to a tedious wearisome lifestyle lacking in fun and joy. If you are at eight and above; beware - you are in living a lifestyle that is demanding, frustrating and unbalanced.

This simple exercise will help you better understand your life, why things happen the way they do and to what degree you are out of balance with your fun and joy to stress and frustration ratio as it relates to your daily activities and commitments. Balance is the key to living your life in a way that maintains or improves good health, prosperity and joy. Fun is part of the process that leads to a better life filled with more joy.

A Fun Formula
Do you need a simple formula for achieving more fun in your life? Are you devoid of fun - do you need a formula just to begin having fun? While fun may be a word that can be defined in a number of ways depending on your age and outlook on life, the following formula works for everyone.
The formula used in my class is S M I L E.

1. S - Sort, save and simplify your life. The less stuff you have to deal with the easier, and less stress filled your life will be - this creates calm
2. M - Make today and every day count. Balance your life by adding some fun. Put it on your calendar, plan ahead and commit to having time for fun.
3. I - Invest in yourself by planning enjoyable events that are filled with fun - spend time at the beach, go to lunch, pamper yourself.
4. L - Learn to laugh at yourself and not take life so seriously. Learn to laugh with others. Laughter is truly great medicine.
5. E - Encourage yourself daily to have more fun through motivational cards with funny or uplifting sayings on them, music that makes your heart sing and puts a smile on your face - this not only puts you in-control but is empowering
This simple action to make a positive change in your life, to reduce stress and to increase your fun, while it may seem like having fun is a frivolous, trivial and unnecessary component of life - it becomes very relevant and important when you put it in the perspective of living a balanced joyful less stress-filled life.

Remember a simple observation. Although a mouse has a shorter life than an elephant, both clock approximately the same number of heartbeats during their lives.

Let your heart beat for the greater good.

Friday, August 15, 2008

An order of happiness and a side-order of esteem to go, please!

Events mixed with beliefs, lead to thoughts, which lead to attitudes, which lead to emotions that lead to decisions and actions. Bad beliefs/thoughts lead to the wrong actions or no action atall... which leads to no good.

We can't hide from others what is going on in our heads.
The power of the thoughts we allow into our minds will control everything about us, our moods,how we carry ourselves, even our expressions when we'rejust "being"...And even our smallest decisions can't be separated from our continuous mental activity either. Change your thought/belief patterns and everything changes.

We need to be looking for ways to learn how to become happy and toappreciate all that we've been blessed with,

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Quotable: "The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." - Benjamin Disraeli

An essential component of consistent performance in a professional environment, business or sport, is preparation. Applicable anywhere in life, the more you, or the bigger you, want to build anything, the more solid the foundation needs to be.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Bad day at the office?

Remember the last time you were in a really good mood at work? You probably felt great, and you probably did a great day's work too.And did you notice the effect you had on other people?
Good moods can be incredibly contagious! Sadly the converse is true – bad moods are just as contagious, and they can really drag the people around you down. This is particularly true if you're a leader. As a leader, your mood directly increases or diminishes the performance of your team.


It's something of a tall order to be in a good mood all the time; But it's well worth understanding how your mood can affect performance, and learning some strategies to harness the positive effects and avoid the negative.

Monday, August 11, 2008

top factors in goal achievement

If there is one question - or comment, actually, I get from people who have yet to start changing their thought and belief patterns is that many of them set goals... lots of goals. Big goals.
1- Identify the thing you want or what you want to achieve and write it down.
2- Write down all the reasons you want it, emotionally,spiritually, etc. What will achieving it give you, how will you feel? This is for motivation.
3- Know your obstacles and challenges. Write down your limitations that might stop you.
4- Find out what you'll need to know/learn and find outwhere to get the help and who can help you... get theadvice, ask for help.
5- Put a deadline on when you want and expect to achieve the goal.
6- Create your plan... all the things that will need to be done to reach the goal.
7- Imagine yourself already having achieved the goal.
8- Keep going. Stick with it. Don't give up.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Student Leaders

Congratulations to those being chosen as Student Leader for your school. The fact that you have been given this honour must not detract from the importance of the role. For those not chosen, lessons can still be learnt;

It's important to take the time to reflect on your own leadership development. A vital student leader seldom waits for failure before appraising his or her leadership skills. Here are a few questions you should ask yourself before accepting the role.

1. How and where do I have influence?
Influence - not position or power - makes a student leader successful.

1. What is my current level of influence at school ?
2. How often do others turn to me for direction or approval?
3. Do I see evidence of my influence with those whom I work for and those who work for me?
4. Who influences me and how?
Remember, we often adopt both the strengths and weaknesses of those around us, so make sure you are not being influenced in a way that leads you away from your goals.
5. In what new areas can I extend my influence?
It may be a new club or community project, a new alliance, or a new group of friends.

2. Where can I improve my people skills?
Someone can lead for a season based on position or problem-solving ability, but success in the long run depends on the ability to get along with and develop people.

1. How can I improve my listening skills?
2. How can I discover what motivates those whom I lead?
3. Am I willing to ask more questions and get more input from others?

3. Do I have a positive outlook?
A positive attitude alone doesn't identify a capacity for student leadership, but a negative spirit will always diminish a person's leadership potential. Never forget that a crisis situation is precisely when leadership is most noticed and valued.

1. When am I most tempted to display a bad attitude?
2. Who do I know that has a negative outlook? Do I allow them to influence me?
3. What kinds of strategies can I implement when I'm tempted to become negative?

4. Do I see evidence of growth in self-discipline?

1. Am I disciplined in my use of time?
2. Do I have worthwhile goals?
3. Are there any evidences of lack of self-discipline in my appearance or work habits?

5. Do I have a proven track record of success as a student leader?
Some people work like crazy and never accomplish anything. Past success is a key predictor of future success.

1. What have I accomplished that I am proud of?
2. Did those accomplishments include others?
3. How does my experience relate to what I need today?
4. Am I willing to put forth the effort again?

6. How are my problem-solving skills?
Many people are impressed with their ability to spot a problem. Identifying a problem is easy; just about anyone can do it. Student leaders must solve problems.

1. When I encounter a problem, do I think of solutions or excuses?
2. Do people approach me when they need help solving a problem?
3. What techniques/strategies have I developed to solve problems?


7. Do I have a big-picture mindset?
How often do you step back to maintain perspective, especially in the face of distractions or pressure? Keeping a sense of direction when the fog of fatigue sets in is a trait of a gifted leader.

1. When am I most tempted to just live from event to event?
2. What sort of reminders do I have in place to keep me mindful of the big picture?
3. Who is someone who keeps me accountable for maintaining a view of the big picture?


Finally remember the AAA solution for any problems that may come your way during your term of office;

1. Attitude - must always be positive.
2. Abilities - must strive for excellence.
3. Actions (and InterActions) - must add value to others.


Next month: What is your vision for next year?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Teamwork

The concept of teamwork is extremely important to the success of any team. All coaches talk about working as one unit, as a unified team. Teamwork and unselfishness create the backbone of a great team, without them a team cannot realistically compete. You can have a group of superstars, but if they do not work well as one unit, chances are they are not going to be as successful as you would think. The team working as one cohesive unit is going to be the key in their success.
Here are some things to take into consideration when you are looking at your team:● Does your team have agreed-upon goals they created as a team?● Do the players openly encourage and support one another?● Do they have open communication with one another, as well as the coaching staff?● Does each player know what their role on the team is?● Is there mutual respect among the players and coaching staff?● Do players use statements such as ‘we’ when referring to the team, or is it more of an ‘every man for himself ’mentality?● Have they created a positive team image for themselves?● Are the individual contributions of each player recognised (regardless of whether he/she is a starter or not a starter)?● Is the team as a whole committed to improving performance?● Does each member consider themselves as a ‘team player’?
A productive team has players that share common goals, a common vision and have some level of interdependence that requires both verbal and physical interaction. Teams come into existence through shared attitudes about a particular sport. They may come together for a number of different reasons, but their goals are the same – to achieve peak performance and experience success. The ends may differ but the means by which one gets there is the same – teamwork. Every member of the team is accountable when it comes to teamwork.
To succeed at the task in hand everyone involved needs to combine their efforts. If everyone does their job well, then it increases what the team can accomplish. This teamwork has to be recognised by everyone and know that great things can happen if individuals master the fundamentals and work together as one unit. Everyone has their own unique role, but each person’s individual role must be recognised and appreciated. Teamwork is something that must be a high priority and given constant attention. Every player needs to understand how important it is for them to work smoothly together if they want to be successful. Each player must be dedicated to the whole team and be willing to act unselfishly. When challenges arise (as they always do), the team needs to have the resources, accountability and commitment to deal with them in a constructive and positive manner. A sense of teamwork will play an integral part in this. Just remember TEAM – Together Everyone Achieves More!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Vision - You control your future

The vision thing can often be tricky for student leaders or in fact for most people.
Your vision may simply be wanting to do your best. Often, students will tell me their vision is "to have the best year ever." But what does that mean?
Left on its own, it sounds more like a mission statement.
Anyone stepping into student leadership can say, "I want to have the best year ever, we want to be the best group ever." But that statement doesn't say anything unique about your situation, it's not measurable, and it will end up meaning different things to different people.
A vision is simply a picture of where you'd like to end up.
It gives people a sense of the big picture and helps others get a sense of where the group is headed.
For example, Emile was elected as a Student Representative for next year. Emile shared his vision with Talk the Talk. His vision is for his class to create a park, filled with trees, in front of the main office block for students to enjoy. He announced that this would be the matric gift to the school for 2008.
As a part of this vision, the other students on the council realized they would need to do more fund raisers, coordinate the plans with the Headmistress, and begin right away to make this project a possibility.
A vision doesn't have to give all of the details, but it needs to be specific enough that people can figure out what details need to happen.
The idea of a new park in front of the main buildings was unique for this class. It is measurable - the class will know if they accomplished the vision or not. Plus, it gives added meaning to all of the other events which precede it’s opening. Fund raisers will be more than raising money for the class, they were for getting resources to complete the park.
One of the best ways to communicate a vision is to paint a picture and put your people in it. Continue to talk about it and let people’s imagination see themselves there.
EXERCISE:* What type of project or event can you imagine accomplishing during your student leader year?* Are there projects that are on-going from past years which you need to complete in your student leader year?* How can you turn your vision into a picture people can see themselves in?
A clear vision provides people with an idea of what is possible. A vision will point toward a change in the future. Hoping that it will happen is not a strategy.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: What kind of vision will you offer those you lead next year?
SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT: Write your vision below and see how it feels when you read it.
My Vision for 2008 is ...


Think seriously about this...
Anxiety and fear strips away courage and makes great performances impossible.
Doubt makes even the best decisions feel difficult.
Anger rips your focus away from your goals.
Frustration can only serve to make you quit.
Guilt makes it impossible to enjoy any successes you achieve.
Jealousy and envy create dishonesty, hate and corruption.
Your thoughts and emotions are the only things that can truly stop you.
Likewise, the only things that can help you to do, be and have anything you want in life are also your thoughts and emotions. Next month Talk the Talk will look at responsible partying, where’s hot and what’s not

Friday, August 1, 2008

Where has all our spirit gone?

According to modern day psychologists, we can measure the quantity to which our spirit is in crisis by the speed of our lives. If this is the case, we are suffering a serious spiritual crisis in the modern world.
Moreover, we are guiding our children into the crisis at earlier and earlier ages, and it should be little wonder to us that we see our young people turning to alcohol and drugs for escape or relief. It should be little wonder to us that we have one of the highest rates of teenage suicide in the world.

As educators, we have the choice of either be responsible for the situation or helping our students learn to cope with the insane pace of our lives and still live a human life.
Of course, we cannot go back to the conventional lifestyle of our parents, but we can help youngsters learn to step away from the madness, help them learn to find the "calm inner core of their universe" within themselves.

Our children are continuously trying to keep up with the increasing volume of information, on ‘face book’, ‘mxit’, ‘my space’ , continuously trying to stay abreast of the rapid changes in technology, iPods, palmtops and cellular communicators and forever trying to keep pace with the ever-accelerating expansion of knowledge and its applications can only lead them away from ourselves.

We should spend more time teaching wisdom and less time teaching information. Only by teaching young people to think, to take time to sift information, to decide how to let information affect their lives will we help them cope with the future. Most of the skills and facts we give them today will be obsolete within a few years. What we need to teach are techniques to manage information, to control the speed of life, to stay in touch with their humanity, to follow through with the belief of ‘Ubuntu’ despite the disrespect of human dignity around them. Otherwise, we are contributing to the growing crisis rather than helping to solve it.

What I find so interesting is how often we purposely hide our human spirit. As if it were a switch that could be flipped on or off. Off to hide the deep sorrow, the humility of disappointing ourselves, the anger of knowing that we are only one individual, and not the all mighty.

So I ask you to look at your world as it is; look closely and you will see your spirit, you will see it playing, loving and delighting you in the midst of your own

So look at life, look at the world as it is; look closely, and you will see God-- playing, loving, and delighting in the very midst of His own created Being. It takes but a single glimpse into the true nature of Reality -- and by Reality we mean both the spiritual fabric of the created material world, as well as the enduring Selfhood that remains forever untouched and aloof from our own personal psychologies and physiologies-- to dispel the illusions of the sorrowful man’s clouded and ignorant worldview. But a single glimpse … and our hearts and minds are forever free of pain and sorrow. But a single glimpse … and our entire being is permanently opened to a heavenly flood of blissful joy. But few know where to look; and it is very difficult to convince most men and women-- especially ‘religious’ men and women-- that the vision of God is already so near to their very own eyes.