No respect?

I've learned a secret about what's going on when someone is not giving you the respect, admiration you want. Let me explain...

Most of us are taught that when a relationship is struggling, we should be extra nice, thoughtful, and giving. However, they are usually not the key to getting respect and appreciation from people who are withholding it from you.

Sometimes, we irritate people in oblivious ways:

We wait around for moans instead of making plans;
We ask for direction on tasks when we're really seeking approval;
We talk and tell them about how miserable our work place is;
We socialize when people are trying to work;
We complain too often;
We check up on people and judge their choices;
We become bossy or controlling;
We complain about not being give responsibility; and,
We lay guilt trips on our colleagues should they disagree with our feelings.

When you lean psychologically or emotionally on people or
toward them, it makes others feel uncomfortable.

They resent the weight you are laying on them, and they will
react by denying you.

They don't like your self-indulgence, and your insecurity
reminds them of their own vulnerability; it rattles them.

Consciously and subliminally, they sense the weakness your
moaning creates.

Fear of losing

Most athletes fear losing above all else.
I can relate. At one point in my athletic career, I was so phobic about losing that my friends gave me a custom-made t-shirt as a gag.
It said, "Sometimes you just have to lose." I laughed and wore it around for a while.
But I only got the joke years later. That's when I realized my fear of losing was so extreme it was hurting me.
To get over your fear of losing, you need to learn how to handle loss in life. When Comedian Alan Alda was little, his dog died. He was distraught.
His Dad, trying to shield Alda from the loss, had the dog stuffed. Now Alda was doubly traumatized.
His dog was gone and his Dad didn't know how to comfort him. That's when Alda learned how to deal with bad change.
...by accepting loss.
He writes: "You can't hang onto something longer than its time. Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is really advice to myself, a reminder to myself not to avoid change or uncertainty, but to go with it, to surf into change."
How about you? Is there a loss in your past you can't seem to get over? If so, you need to realize that loss is part of life.
You need to grieve every loss and move on. This is the reason so many athletes get too nervous and choke.
The loss you fear has already happened to you. And you think it will be same this time.
My friend, I can assure you this is not the case. You are different now.
You are wiser and stronger. Now don't misunderstand me.
I'm not saying losing is your goal or you should like it. That's ridiculous.
Every athlete and coach hates to lose.
I'm saying that losing happens. And there is no loss you can't handle - as long as you're prepared to accept yourself.
If you know me, you know I'm big on self-acceptance. In fact it's my top value in life.
Teach yourself how to accept yourself, warts and all. If you haven't learned this lesson yet, now is the time.