Angry Birds

EVER PLAYED ANGRY BIRDS? All teachers and principals must deal with angry parents from time to time. In those times of heated passions, our responses carry great weight. A miscalculated response can backfire; it can fan the flames of a parent's upset and even burn bridges we've worked hard to build between school and home. That's why experienced principals use techniques aimed at extinguishing fires before they develop into full-fledged infernos. The key to controlling the blaze, most principals agree, is listening. LISTEN, AND THEN LISTEN SOME MORE The first thing when confronted by an upset parent is to smile and extend your hand. Invite the parent into an office and offer a seat. Doing that helps make the parent feel respected, and it communicates that I am willing to listen and try to find a solution to whatever is on their mind. As you are making the upset parent feel welcomed, also reminding yourself that the parent is usually not angry with you. Instead, the parent is usually upset by an event or something else in their life -- and it's your job to listen. Listening intently can go a long way toward resolving most problems. AND THEN LISTEN SOME MORE There is nothing worse than a parent who is upset and yelling in the halls where they are in earshot of students, teachers, and other parents. Almost always, parents calm down once they know that you are willing to listen and assist them. Empathy goes a long way in finding a solution to any problem we may be facing. Show genuine concern about a parent's feelings. Remain calm and offer the parent compassion. They need to let it out, and doing that will make them feel better. If you become angry or defensive, it becomes a power play -- and they feel helpless and lash out. It is better to show that you understand how they feel... even if their complaints might be out of your control. PUT YOURSELF IN THE PARENT'S SHOES "I just tell myself never to take a parent's upset personally," "That helps me remain calm, professional, and consistent."